2014

2013 has been full of dramas. Full of fun, laughter, sadness, tears, anger, disappointments and whatever emotions you name it, yep, you've got it. But it's because of so many lessons that i've learnt through the past year makes me who i am today.

And that's why i've came up to this single New Year Resolution:

To be happy, and not expect much. 

2013 has been a pretty eventful year for me. I spent New Year's with my fav people in the world - ma church homiez (I guess it was a pretty good start). It wasn't long before i started saving up all my money that i had an bought x a soccer boots. And it wasn't long after i bought x soccer boots, that our relationship ended. Then i was pretty much depressed the whole time. In June, we went on Youth Camp, it was a blast really. Then came my 18. And to my surprise, x celebrated with me. And then it went on, so i guess we were pretty much back to being normal.

Throughout the months of being "back to normal", we've had countless quarrels, fights, disappointments, tears, joy, fun and laughter.

I am so thankful for you. I am so thankful for cancelling your New Year plans and celebrating it with me and of course the two others. :-)

2013 passed by so quickly, so many things happened that i am still grateful for. I got new friends, and i've lost some of my good friends. But through it all, i really am grateful for the people who have been constantly by my side no matter what had happened. So here's to 2014, and more adventures with you guys! :-)

Pixie Dust

Yesterday was fun. I love having times spent like that. Dinner, shopping, eating dessert. Simple joys that makes me happy. The happiest thing that happened to me yesterday was receiving those simple handmade gifts. I really love them alot. :')

“It’s just so strange. You used to love me, and now you’re a stranger who happens to know all of my secrets.”

To the next person he loves, please remember:
That he loves SALTED popcorn.
He CAN'T watch a movie WITHOUT popcorn and his fanta grape.
He gets injured and sick really easily.
He loves dim sum, and claims to be "dim sum king". HAHA SO CUTE
He loves his oreo cheesecake. Or anything that has cookies inside.
He falls asleep on the phone MOST OF THE TIME.
He claims he isn't tired, but once he hits the sofa or bed, he's more or less gone to dreamland.
He loves his sport, so don't ever try to take him away from it.
He doesn't like going to town.
He hates crowds.
He has motion sickness.
He injured his right foot so now there's a weird bone growing out of it or something.
He drinks SOMETIMES but when he does, don't try to control him.
He doesn't like it when you control him too much.
He isn't as overprotective compared to other guys because he doesn't want to upset you.
He doesn't like horror.
He gets cold really easily so always bring a jacket so y'all can share the jacket in the cinema, etc.
He's quite stubborn and quite rash at times.
He is actually 18, but he acts like a kid sometimes. That's why i love him :-)
He's really indecisive.
He loves his food, eats a lot but can never get fat. Even though all he wants is to become fat.
He always has a lot of nonsense and crap to talk about. But that's one of the reasons why i fell for him.
He loves playing his computer games and can go on it for all day if he could.
His favourite number is #27.
He loves Gongcha's Golden Ovaltine.
When he's upset, you can tell. Go talk to him, but don't push him. He just needs time to tell you what is really going on.
He may be all happy, smiley all day, but he actually thinks a lot during the night and plans way ahead.

Well there's so much more about him that i can't really list all of them. But i guess this is quite a good headstart hahah. These are many of the other reasons why i fell in love with him in the start. :-) he may have pissed me off many times but still.. :-)

Determined

This time i'm really giving up. I really don't know how i can please anyone.

Yes i may be stupid. "You spend too much money on him and get back nothing i love this." Thank you hater, you made me realise how much i suck and yes i do spend a lot of money on him. But i did it out of love. But if he doesn't appreciate it, there's nothing i can do but to say that i'm stupid. And i wouldn't be all boastful and say yeah, i spent $xx on him the other time, and $xx on him the other time, etc. Because in love, there's really no calculations. Yes i may have spend a lot of money on him, but i don't regret it one bit. Just by my small actions of paying the bill, buying his favourite things pleases me because when i see him smile or happy, there's always a warm fuzzy feeling inside of me. So no, i don't ever regret it. If there was a chance to go back in time, i would definitely say that i would choose to do it all over again.

Yes you may know the reason why we broke up, but i don't. You might feel as if you have an edge over me, but honestly, it's okay. It's been like close to 5 months? Yes i have stupidly waited 5 months for a reply on why we broke up, and honestly, he's still not close to telling me. Every single time i ask, he would always say "I no mood talk." Yeah it hurts, but what can i do. Quarrels after quarrels happen but yet i still don't know what the answer is. And yet during this 5 months that i have been waiting, i've treated him no differently. All i was hoping was to get back together and hopefully last long. A month ago, it was our 1st year. No doubt i still wish we were together. Just imagine all the things we could do. Just imagine if i actually knew what happen the other time, maybe i or we could fix this mess and spend our 1st year together. But i know, no matter how much i hope or wish, things wouldn't go back the same.

"If a person comes back the second time, it will never be the same."

Till then,
xx

Slowly;

Slowly i'm letting go.

Do i miss him? 
Do i still want to see him?
Do i still want to talk to him all day?
Do i still get jealous? 
Do i still love him? 
-
Yes. 

But i know for sure that all these memories will be kept. And i know for sure that if he isn't fighting for me, there's no point in me still being here. I feel like i'm taken for granted. A second choice. A person who comes back the second time will never be the same.

All these memories will be kept dearly to my heart. Till he decides to fight for me, bye.

x

“You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the person that you love.”